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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623345">Splintered Loyalties</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestess_of_Groove/pseuds/Priestess_of_Groove'>Priestess_of_Groove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arthur lives!, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Forced Marriage, Gen, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:28:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestess_of_Groove/pseuds/Priestess_of_Groove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a man who pissed away both the honor of being the Sword of the Morning and the honor of Kingsguard and he had done it dutifully.</p><p>The wound Lord Howland Reed gave Ser Arthur was not fatal.  He makes a recovery and plans his next move, trying to decide where his loyalties now truly lie.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Sword Rises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Author’s Notes</b>: Welcome to my latest short story!  I hope you enjoy reading and please join me in thanking Catzrko0l for being for this story.  You’re the best!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><br/>
(Cover created by me)</p><p>
  <b>Splintered Loyalties</b>
</p><p>
  <b>P1: The Sword Rises</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Must you return?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is my duty.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have no duty.  They think you dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do they?  Would not Lord Stark tell them otherwise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told him to not breathe a word.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled as he pulled his cloak on, turning to meet Allyria’s eyes.  She was still so young but her eyes carried the weight of loss and grief.  Despite the warm summer climate of Dorne, her demeanor was frigid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think that threat is enough to keep his silence?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know what he carries.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur grew stern and he growled, “Do not dare threaten to hang the babe with his ancestry or we will have more than words.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gaped.  “You would threaten me?  Your own sister?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am honorbound to protect the last Targaryen on these shores.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After what happened to Ashara?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am Kingsguard.  I did not die and so Kingsguard I shall remain.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was a near thing,” she whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remained silent.  This conversation had been done many times before, starting with when he finally awoke from his injured slumber and expressed his desire to return to King’s Landing.  His last remaining sister, Allyria, had taken his words for delirium and assumed he was not in his right mind.  And yet his determination to return as a Kingsguard did not waver.  The only point at which it wavered was deciding where his presence was best served.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lord Stark had Prince Rhaegar and Lady Lyanna’s son.  The lady had died in childbed, but her son lived.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had nearly died himself once Allyria had told him Lord Stark was returning to King’s Landing with the babe in tow.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fool!  Lackwit!  The king will dash the babe’s brains for sure,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur thought.  He had still been too weak.  Even with the surge of strength his fear granted him, he’d still only just managed to roll to his side.  The maester had tutted upon seeing him and gently rolled him back and he’d fallen into slumber.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Arthur had managed being able to sit up without assistance, Lord Stark was a month gone.  It was impossible to catch him, even with the quickest horse or the fastest ship.  The boy’s fate was out of his hands.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Some Kingsguard I am,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur thought bitterly.  He could pray that Lord Stark had the wits to hide the boy’s identity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While he was in recovery, he demanded news.  Allyria had frowned at him disapprovingly, but had told him what was in the letters from King’s Landing: Lord Stark had broken the Tyrell siege of Storm’s End, freeing Stannis and his men from starvation.  Ser Jaime Lannister had slain the king.  Ser Gregor Clegane and Ser Amory Lorch had seen to the butchering of Princess Elia Martell and her children.  Only Queen Rhaella and Prince Viserys remained alive, but Stannis had been sent out into the sea to Dragonstone to apprehend them. It seemed only a matter of time before the last vestiges of the Targaryen Dynasty were stricken from the lands.  All save for one babe in Lord Stark’s care.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even in King’s Landing, he’d heard of the brotherly bond that Lord Stark had with King Robert Baratheon.  But did it supersede a bond with his sister?  Arthur had been lying outside of the Tower of Joy on the brink of death next to his brothers’ bodies.  He only recalled the clear, deep blue sky and the ferocious sun on his skin as he was certain he was breathing his last.  He had no way of knowing what words were exchanged between brother and sister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did Lyanna Stark have loyalty to the child at least?  There had been loyalty at first when Rhaegar first dangled adventure in front of her like a carrot on a stick.  She had been all too eager to join the handsome prince and his famed Kingsguard for an adventure.  She assumed it would be brief.  That she would be back with her brothers and father within a week.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur would never forget the look of horror on her face when Prince Rhaegar told her the king demanded their marriage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His sister glared at him and finally said, “Promise me you won’t dishonor yourself again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed heavily.  “I wish I could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rode alone.  His cloak was drawn up to hide his face and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn</span>
  </em>
  <span> was hidden under his saddlebags.  He bore a regular steel sword and a knife.  With nothing but time and the empty road ahead of him, his thoughts drifted and he often found them wandering towards </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It pained him to hold the sword.  At first, he thought it was due to weakness associated with his recovery.  His muscles had surely shrank in the weeks he had spent abed, but his heart told him it was more than that.  He thought that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn</span>
  </em>
  <span> might be displeased.  Only those deemed worthy bore the title of Sword of the Morning and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn </span>
  </em>
  <span>with it.  Earning the sword had been one of his greatest sources of pride.  He had sworn to bear the sword with integrity and honor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he had failed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had failed to protect Queen Rhaella from her own brother-husband.  He allowed Prince Rhaegar to use his position as Kingsguard to make him perform dishonorable deeds.  He remembered the first conversation Prince Rhaegar had with Lady Lyanna with a grim horror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Buh-but I am betrothed!  You can’t!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He is the king.  He can,” Prince Rhaegar said grimly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And what of you?!  You’re married, are you not?  How can he do this to you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because he is the king,” Rhaegar repeated.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How can he do this </span>
  </em>
  <span>to me?</span>
  <em>
    <span>  I have done nothing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But you have.  Do you not recall?  You were the Knight of the Laughing Tree.  You made fools of men.  You sparked my father’s ire.  He does not suffer fools nor being made one.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lady Lyanna had fallen back a step and the color had drained from her face.  Her lips and hands trembled uncontrollably when suddenly she fell to her knees and curled in on herself.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No… nonononono, the Gods have mercy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This is a mercy,” Rhaegar said with no conviction in his voice.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She shot him a nasty look.  “You named me </span>
  </em>
  <span>whore</span>
  <em>
    <span> when you gave me the crown of flowers.  To think I was grateful that it might be enough to break my betrothal with Robert Baratheon … but this?  You mock me.  The Gods mock me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The only ‘God’ that matters is the king.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The king is no God.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He may as well be.  His word is as theirs: absolute.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tears began to glitter in her eyes and they slowly began to slide down her face.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We shall be wed in two day’s time.  There’s no point in trying to escape.  If you attempt to, the king will have you killed,” Rhaegar said, with an expression colder than the Wall. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time Arthur felt his ire towards his friend.  He’d had great respect and loyalty to the crown when he had been initially sworn in as a brother of the Kingsguard.  It was one of the proudest moments of his life when the white cloak was set upon his shoulders.  It had taken some time for the awe of the honor to become mundane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, over the years the madness of King Aerys began to grow more obvious.  A consequence of being in his presence was attempting to tolerate the strain of his insanity and paranoia.  Arthur counted himself lucky that much of the king’s fears were directed to those outside this inner circle, but it meant that neither he nor his brother’s could step one toe out of line without bringing down a mountain of suspicion toward them, which convinced King Aerys they were about to betray him.  Slowly, inexorably, the king began to push his limits with the oaths of the Kingsguard.  But the king was the king.  He had no limits to his power and their oath was to obey his </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> command.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For Arthur, the strain of the king’s madness began with the raping of his sister-wife, Queen Rhaella.  Lord Commander Gerold Hightower had instilled in him that, no matter the cruelty, there was a purpose to the raping of the queen.  The kingdom needed heirs after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We cannot protect her from him.  He is our king,” Ser Gerold rumbled to him, barely heard over the agonized screams of the queen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur shut it out of his mind, but he couldn’t shut her screams out of his nightmares.  Then King Aerys began punishing harshly for perceived slights.  Still, the Kingsguard were to be stoic no matter the circumstance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Ser Harlan Grandison had passed suddenly in his sleep, creating an opening.  Few were more surprised at Ser Jaime Lannister replacing him than Arthur.  And he knew it was a mistake.  The Lannister’s reputation was sinister and barbaric, but Arthur hadn’t been able to reconcile the earnest and cocky young lad with the likes of his fear mongering father.  His skill with a sword was awe-inspiring.  Holding off the Smiling Knight at his age and preventing the death of his own mentor was reason enough to knight him, but Arthur had seen enough to know the young man was nothing like his house’s reputation.    </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t taken long for the young man’s pride to be dashed as he was immediately ordered back to King’s Landing, deprived of the opportunity to earn glory on the tourney field.  Arthur could do nothing more than congratulate him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The intentions of the king were less than pure.  Heirs were not meant for the Kingsguard, but the king did as the king pleased.  It sent Lord Tywin in a fury and he withdrew all support and his own daughter from King’s Landing over it.  The reason for his placement only seemed to dawn on Jaime once he was alone at court.  He had deflated, though he tried to paper it over with haughty arrogance and thick sarcasm.  He felt for the boy.  He had been much older when he had been admitted into the Kingsguard and despite his experience on the battlefield, the Kingsguard still managed to uproot the weedy ideals he had long held onto since boyhood.  Including, it seemed, the ideas that made him worthy to bear </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn</span>
  </em>
  <span> and be the Sword of the Morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But King Aerys II was now dead and so was Prince Rhaegar.  After the uncouth and uncalled for butchering of Princess Elia Martell and her children—Ser Arthur ground his teeth together and white hot rage threatened to explode from at the thought of their fates—it seemed Queen Rhaella and Prince Viserys’ days were numbered as well.  The Targaryens would be wiped from the land as surely as the Reynes and the Tarbecks.  Only the fate of the babe Lord Stark carried remained a mystery, though he wasn’t entirely certain Lord Stark wasn’t carrying the boy into a death trap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever he felt about King Aerys or Prince Rhaegar, the rest of the family had done nothing to earn such an ignominious fate and he was fated to fail them.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Perhaps it’s best that I don’t pursue either of them,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought.  His identity was unlikely to remain hidden for long from the likes of the Master of Whispers.  He feared what conclusions the Spider might come to if he tried to follow Lord Stark to the North.  Lady Lyanna’s son was better served not being pursued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d heard that Ser Barristan had been wounded on the trident, but news from King’s Landing said he’d made a full recovery and had remained a Kingsguard.  Ser Jaime Lannister had also managed to escape either a beheading or banishment to the Wall, likely at his father’s bid.  As far as Arthur knew, it was just the two of them now.  Everyone else had perished.  The news stung to hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had felt similarly when they had received the news of Prince Rhaegar’s death.  The Tower of Joy, ironically, was a joyless, barren plain where little reached their ears of the growing rebellion.  They were supposed to be hidden, after all, so none went out of their way to share news of the war.  Prince Rhaegar had long been his friend, so when the news came of his death, it felt like a body blow.  Not for the first time did he wonder if staying to protect the girl—</span>
  <em>
    <span>Imprisoning her, really</span>
  </em>
  <span>—was the right thing to do.  Those in the Great Sept of Baelor were apt to disagree, but the priest who married Prince Rhaegar and Lady Lyanna had likely feared for his life if he hadn’t otherwise.  A wise choice once they’d received the news of Lord Rickard Stark and Brandon Stark’s deaths in King’s Landing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But to learn the death of Prince Rhaegar, whom Arthur considered his truest friend, there had mostly been grim acceptance.  It seemed the Seven were plainly telling him and the rest of the Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy that the King Aerys and Prince Rhaegar’s decisions had been wrong.  Prince Rhaegar was supposed to take his place as king and right the wrongs that his father’s paranoia and creeping madness had undone, but he was dead.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Arthur, it meant that their duty to ‘protect’ Lady Lyanna was now a falsehood.  But he was not the Lord Commander.  Gerold Hightower had read the missive, furrowed his brow in pained determination, and plainly stated, “This changes nothing.  Prince Rhaegar ordered us to guard the Tower of Joy and so we shall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so it was the Seven made sure they died there. All but him.  They had spared his life for some reason.  He was beginning to wonder if it had been Lord Reed’s intention to wound him or if he had lost the nerve to do something as dishonorable as killing him from behind.  He doubted he would ever get the opportunity to ask.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Sword Returns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Author's Notes</b>: Thank you, everyone, who read this story and supported it!</p><p>Big thanks to Catzrko0l for being beta to this story.</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Part 2</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Sword Returns</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning?”  King Robert stood slowly with something akin to awe and fury on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your Grace,” Arthur said, dropping to a knee and bowing his head.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had taken six weeks to ride from Starfall to King’s Landing.  A ship would’ve been faster, but Prince Doran and Prince Oberyn would have surely gutted him if he tried to leave through Sunspear.  No matter his orders, Princess Elia and her children were among Arthur’s duties and they would just as easily be willing to carve him up as Ser Gregor Clegane.  So Arthur had opted for a long horse ride back.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Under any other circumstance, Arthur preferred the quiet road to the conniving hive of King’s Landing, but he found his memories and his shame had a habit of rising to his attention in the longer stretches.  He had little else to do but wallow in them.  By the time he had reached King’s Landing, he hated everything that he had become.  He was a man who pissed away both the honor of being the Sword of the Morning and the honor of Kingsguard and he had done it dutifully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>King Robert slowly started down the Iron Throne.  “Ned never mentioned you were alive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I lay near death for some time.  Lord Stark may not have known whether I was out of danger or not,” he replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur kept his eyes on the floor and listened to the king’s steady approach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should remove your head from your shoulders,” he growled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As is your right, Your Grace.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur thought he heard a gasp from the rest of court.  The statement gave pause to King Robert.  “You wouldn’t fear death, would you?  Not like Prince Rhaegar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur felt an eyebrow raise.  Was the king attempting to raise his ire?  Then he had missed his mark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why’d you do it?”  King Robert growled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do what, Your Grace?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He growled again. “You know of what I speak!  Lyanna!  Why did you imprison, Lyanna?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because we were ordered to, Your Grace,” Arthur replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stand up and look me in the eye like a man,” King Robert said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur did as told.  King Robert was an enormous man.  Even the ornate clothing he wore as king could not hide the girth of his muscles.  Prince Rhaegar was a mere hatchling by comparison.  He would never have stood a chance against such a mighty stag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You let a young woman die of fever?  You couldn’t bring a maester or a healer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your Grace, we were told to not allow Lady Lyanna to leave the tower and we were not allowed to bring anyone either.  Prince Rhaegar wanted complete secrecy.  We followed his orders to the letter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>King Robert scoffed.  “There is no honor in that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are the king, Your Grace.  It is the duty of the Kingsguard to follow the orders of the king.  What Kingsguard are we, who would choose what orders to follow and what orders not to?”  His voice remained measured.  To Arthur’s own ears, he sounded bored of the conversation, but he felt mostly depleted.  This had been a question he had asked himself every single day of the ride back to King’s Landing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet the Kingslayer figured it out!  He murdered the Mad King to end his reign of madness!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t fear his sword turning on you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Arthur desperately wanted to ask it, but stopped himself.  He glanced over at Ser Jaime who was standing on one side of the throne.  It pained him to see the boy had apparently aged a decade and had become a man since he last saw.  Jaime’s face showed strain and his eyes were full of fury and suspicion.  The boy—no, man—had suffered enough under King Aerys.  He refused to cast further suspicion on him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he did.  And I see Ser Jaime remains a member of the Kingsguard.  He has served you well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>King Robert blinked at him.  It was then Arthur realized the king had been trying to prod him into an aggressive or angry reaction so as to have an excuse to behead him after all, but all attempts were being met with indifference.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He has…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see Ser Barristan also continues to serve you as Kingsguard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur met Ser Barristan’s eyes this time.  He was as ever impassive and solid.  Upon their eyes meeting, Ser Barristan nodded to him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why have you come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish to retake my place as Kingsguard at your side, Your Grace.  Kingsguard is for life, after all, and I am not yet dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could make you dead,” King Robert growled and he glowered.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you won’t,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur mused.  King Robert had better cause than most, but it would be considered scandalous to condemn to death a man who honored his oaths as a Kingsguard.  They had just finished with one king who condemned perceived slights.  Court was unlikely to tolerate yet another king like the last.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well.  Bend the knee and recite the oath.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur fell to his knees once more and promptly began, “I, Ser Arthur Dayne, swear to defend King Robert Baratheon I and his family from all harm.   I swear to obey your commands, to counsel you when requested, to be silent when not, to keep your secrets, and to defend your name and your honor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very good,” King Robert said grudgingly.  “Ser Barristan is Lord Commander now.  You will speak with him for your assignments.  You’re dismissed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur rose to his feet once more, dipped his head, and walked out of the throne room.  All were silent as his footsteps sounded through the hall and all eyes followed him.  He paid no one any attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur returned to his room in the White Sword Tower and found it unoccupied.  The meager belongings he had owned were cleaned out.  He regretted that the rough carving of a cat Allyria had given him as a child had been either tossed or pilfered.  It was just as well.  The young girl who had grown up admiring her brother was long gone; he didn’t deserve Allyria’s admiration anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought he would once again enjoy the comforts of a real bed after weeks on the ground, but his mind raced.  The Red Keep had once more unearthed memories from long ago that filled him with yet more shame and dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My Prince, think about this: your father is setting you up for failure.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It is no less than I deserve. I plotted against him after all. He would sooner have my head on the block, but he has granted me his mercy.”  Rhaegar’s tone was defeated.  His usually boundless zeal was muted and it seemed to be weighing on his horse as well.  They were not going faster than a plodding walk on their way to Riverrun.  Ser Oswell Whent rode a small distance behind them, close enough for any danger to rear its head, but far enough to grant them privacy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Horseshit!  You know what your father has become; you know he is dangerous.  Don’t throw your life away to appease him because you no longer can!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ser Arthur, I suggest you hold your tongue.  You are treading upon dangerous ground,” Rhaegar said in a low voice.  His eyes sparked with fury, the first sign of life Arthur had seen in him since Harrenhal.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I already trod upon dangerous ground by following you more than your father,” Ser Arthur said back fiercely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then perhaps you should stop while you are ahead.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I would say the same to you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rhaegar drew his mouth into a furious line.  “Is it not in your oaths to hold your tongue when no council has been asked?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I made that oath to your father, but not to you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His friend remained silent.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You have punished yourself and this girl enough when you crowned her queen of love and beauty, but you do not have to follow through with this farce.  End it.  Rally the other lords and depose your father!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“As if the other lords would back me now.  I am to honor my father as much as you are to hold your oaths.  You wouldn’t sully your honor now, would you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Am I not by advocating for the removal of your father?”  Arthur asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are the Sword of the Morning.  Your oaths are everything and I would not have you sully them.  Heed me, Ser Arthur, as you have all these years and do not speak of treason any longer,” Rhaegar said.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So be it, my prince.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He promptly broke his knight’s oath when they spirited away Lady Lyanna Stark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The White Sword Tower had never felt so empty in all of the years Arthur had served as Kingsguard.  He’d had great respect for his brothers, the finest knights of the Seven Kingdoms.  He had gladly rubbed elbows, glad handed, and trained with them.  The tone had shifted when Ser Jaime had been raised.  His admittance had been awkward at first.  The youngest knight after him had been at least a dozen years his senior.  However, he had soon found himself to be a favored training partner.  With his grace and uncanny skill with the sword, everyone had wanted to train with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As talented as Ser Jaime was, he had still been young.  Ser Arthur could admire his skill and his drive, but he still had the unrefined edge that reminded him of a young hunting dog.  He had taken the boy under his wing and drilled him.  Ser Jaime had been all too happy about it.  Before long, Arthur had found himself nearly equal to Ser Jaime.  If Arthur had been better at all, it was only by a hair.  Eventually, Jaime had managed to take the fight to every single member of the Kingsguard and win.  He hadn’t won every time, but enough times.  It had cemented his place in the Kingsguard and earned a much vaunted respect.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been the only positive to come out of the tourney at Harrenhal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, back in the Red Keep, Ser Arthur attempted to engage Ser Jaime in either conversation or a bout and found his efforts rebuffed.  He was surprised to find it stung to see Ser Jaime sneer at him, his eyes now filled with undisguised hate.  Ser Jaime only spoke to him when necessary, but otherwise avoided him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were times at night when Arthur found his sleep disturbed by Ser Jaime’s unrestrained screams.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The first time Arthur heard it, he’d grabbed his sword and raced up to Ser Jaime’s door.  His bare feet had made little sound against the stone.  He had just been reaching for the door handle when the screams stopped.  Arthur had hesitated and decided to listen.  He had heard the panicked gasps of someone breathing and then a quiet but frantic pacing.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur had considered trying the handle;  to let Ser Jaime know he was an open ear for his troubles.  He’d had similar nightmares after his final encounter with the Smiling Knight, most of them involving young Jaime being split ear-to-ear before Arthur could take the fight.  He had shuddered to think of the death of such a promising young knight.    </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or did I knight a kingslayer?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  He mused.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaime had eventually found his place among his brothers, but had not been particularly upbeat.  He had been haughty, arrogant, and frequently downtrodden.  Arthur had been there when King Aerys had flaunted ‘stealing’ Lord Tywin’s heir from him and Jaime had always been visibly wounded by the king’s words.  He had tried to tell Jaime to ignore the king’s words and that he was honored to have him as a brother in the Kingsguard, but it had made Jaime paper over his distress with a smirk and mock Arthur lightly for his concern.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After enduring another of Ser Jaime’s evasions, Arthur went to the top of the tower and knocked on Ser Barristan’s doors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Enter,” Ser Barristan barked.  The old knight actually smiled good-naturedly upon seeing him.  “Ah, Ser Arthur!  It’s good to know another honorable knight made it through.  It has been so lonely here in the tower.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you haven’t filled a few of the Kingsguard spots.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan’s eyes crinkled in a wry grin.  “Yes, I am going over prospective knights now as it seems.  Few of them can live up to the likes of you or the others.  I should start picking regardless to keep King Robert’s patience from running thin.  It’s just that, well … never mind.  Perhaps you would be willing to lend your expertise?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you looking at?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan shuffled through a stack of parchments.  “King Robert likes this Ser Lin Corbray.  He is the third son of House Corbray and actually carries the House’s Valyrian steel sword, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lady Forlorn</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  However, his single greatest accomplishment, as he crows, is slaying Prince Lewyn Martell on the Trident.”  At the very mention of that fateful battle, Ser Barristan drew his mouth into a thin line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.  While slaying a Kingsguard is impressive, the conflict that it happened in will make it difficult to trust him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I agree.  Perhaps with your voice added to this, King Robert will accept that rejection.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“King Robert doesn’t appear to like me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He may not like you, but he certainly respects you.  Everyone does.  You’re not an oathbreaker and now that you’ve renewed your oaths to him, he knows that you will not go against his word.”  Once again, Ser Barristan’s face tightened with anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s see… another knight that came with King Robert’s entourage into the capital: Ser Mandon Moore.  I know little about him other than he hails from the Vale.  At the very least he hasn’t gloated about killing a member of the Kingsguard or a king for that matter...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur could feel his irritation ramping up through the conversation, but his curiosity was piqued.  “Killing a king?  Has Ser Jaime gloated about killing the king?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan stiffened and his face became cracked and hard with anger.  “Not gloating, per se, but he is unapologetic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is he?  He refuses to speak to me at all. Can’t say I’ve heard him say a word since my return.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can’t have that,” Ser Barristan said. “I’ll speak to him.  He needs to at least be able to speak with you.  Perhaps you can steer him better than I.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Steer him where?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan frowned at him in confusion.  “Steer him back on a path towards honor, though I am uncertain myself whether honor can be recovered after breaking the highest oaths.  If only Prince Rhaegar had allowed another one of us to stay behind…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What difference do you think that would have made?”  Arthur asked, bristling at Ser Barristan’s casual disdain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, King Aerys would be alive to face justice for any crimes the kingdoms felt he had committed.  For something like this, it should not be left in the hands of mere knights to dispense justice, especially not one so green as Ser Jaime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that the reason Jaime gave for killing King Aerys?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan frowned again.  “No.  In fact, I don’t think he has given any justification at all.  Lord Stark found him sitting on the throne, gloating.  He thinks Ser Jaime killed the king on Lord Tywin’s orders.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t Lord Tywin sacking the city?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he was.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think he sent someone with his orders to Ser Jaime?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could’ve been Ser Gregor Clegane or one of his ilk.  They were carrying out their foul deeds at the same time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur tilted his head.  “Why do you think he did it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan was quiet for a moment and said, “He’s a boy.  Standing for the king meant embracing the possibility of his death.  Few so young are so cavalier with throwing away their lives.  He had to know his death was all but assured no matter how good of a swordsman he is.”  The old knight shook his head in bewilderment.  “It’s all speculation.  What’s done is done.  He was pardoned, though I don’t know how King Robert sleeps so easily at night knowing he allowed a kingslayer to be so near at hand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur studied the Lord Commander for a moment.  Then he asked, “You think Ser Jaime killed the king to spare his own life, when he risked being executed for that murder?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan blinked at him.  “Lord Tywin was at hand.  His armies were fresh.  He would never have stood for his beloved heir to be condemned to death.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps, but that’s not a guarantee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan stared at him nonplussed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Lord Commander,” Arthur said, making clear the note of anger in his voice.  “You have been most helpful.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Arthur grunted as Lady Lyanna shoved him.  She attempted to squeeze past him, but he was nearly solid as a statue.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let me pass!  I demand to leave.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I cannot allow that, my lady,” Arthur replied.  He hoped she couldn’t hear the defeat in his voice.  The news had just come in that Lord Rickard Stark and his son Brandon Stark were dead.  Lord Stark had been burned alive by King Aerys’ champion, fire, and Brandon Stark had strangled himself to save his own father.  There were more deaths than that, but those were the most difficult to bear.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What have I done?</span>
  <em>
    <span>  Arthur asked himself.  He had participated in King Aerys’ scheme to humiliate the Starks and Rhaegar by absconding with the only Stark daughter.  He had done it for Rhaegar.  Because Rhaegar had not deserved to suffer for plotting to make the kingdom a better place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this was more than humiliation.  This was turning into a butchering.  Although the number of powerful betrothals that Lord Stark was making were suspicious, they were all perfectly legal.  He was the lord paramount and it was his right to arrange the best marriages for his children.  Perhaps King Aerys had hoped that having Lyanna crowned by Prince Rhaegar as the queen of love and beauty would be enough to scrap at least one of those betrothals, but it only made Lord Robert Baratheon even more fanatical about marrying Lady Lyanna.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And he, Arthur, had served to spark the fire that killed Lord Stark.  He was sworn to his king, whether right or wrong, but he had broken every other oath save his Kingsguard one to ease the pain of Rhaegar’s suffering.  But the suffering had only spread around like a disease.  Nothing good would come of these deaths.  The nobility would only tolerate so much and the unjust murder of one of their own would finally make them snap back.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you doing this?”  Tears poured freely from down Lady Lyanna’s face.  “My brother and father are dead!  We have been married, we have lain together!  What more do you need?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That is not my decision to make, my Lady,” he replied.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re supposed to be the Sword of the Morning!  You are supposed to stand up for what is just.  How can you not see the injustice in this?!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Arthur had no answer, so he remained silent.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lady Lyanna roared with pain and rage.  She ripped off the curtains of her window, she threw books against the wall, destroyed vases, shredded any scrap of parchment within reach.  Arthur only watched her destroy her room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She picked up a sewing needle.  At the sinister twist of her face, Arthur started towards her, but she was already using it to dig into the soft tissue of her wrist.  He grabbed her hand.  He meant to be gentle but she cried out at his steel grip while he wrenched the needle from her fingers.  Once the needle had fallen to the floor, he stepped on it to prevent her from picking it up again and examined the damaged wrist.  Blood was leaking out.  He wiped it away and although the small wound immediately filled, he didn’t think she had damaged the vein.  His grip loosened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She ripped out her hand and made a run for the door.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How far do you think you’ll get, my Lady?”  She stopped at the open frame.  “Even if you do manage to grab a horse, you will be brought back here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why are you doing this?”  She asked again, turning on him, her teeth and now hands clenched.  “You are supposed to be a knight!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I am a Kingsguard.  My first oath is to my king.  All else is secondary.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rhaegar is not your king.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, he is not.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yet you do his bidding.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“As the king demands.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She shook her head, her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened in stunned denial.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That doesn’t sound like a king worth following.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The king does as the king wills.  I can only follow.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She made no further attempts to escape the tower.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Arthur felt like his very being was hollowed out as he stood by and guarded a single girl, a thousand miles from any real conflict, because he had made an oath and a promise.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Sword Without Honor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Author’s Notes</b>: The third and final installment.  Thank you for all of your support!  Please enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Part 3</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Sword Without Honor</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Mandon Moore was indeed the next knight to join the Kingsguard.  His eyes were unnaturally pale.  He surveyed them like a shark considering its next meal.  There was nothing cordial about him; he appeared unable to smile and regarded them all as coldly and stiffly as a statue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur instantly distrusted him.  He was a knight of no particular renown, who was elevated to Kingsguard to make King Robert and Lord Jon Arryn feel safer amidst the three who had originally served a fallen house.  It sickened Arthur to see a clear case of nepotism, but he doubted he was any less rotten than the rest of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Kingsguard was splintered.  Ser Jaime stood apart and alone, refusing to engage and savaging anyone with cutting words who might reach out to him.  Lord Commander Barristan continued to harbor resentment against Ser Jaime and was confused at Arthur’s own resentment towards him.  All other conversations between the two had been stiff and cordial, but Arthur walked away when Barristan attempted to steer the conversation back towards the topic of Ser Jaime.  Neither he nor Ser Jaime cared to say a word to Ser Mandon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The easy camaraderie amongst the Kingsguard was gone.  No one seemed capable of trusting one another.  Not for the first time, Arthur wondered if he shouldn’t have just followed Lord Stark to the North after all, but instead of protecting the child, riding right past them and joining the Night’s Watch at the Wall.  That was a place where men were supposed to regain their honor.  He wasn’t sure he could find it here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t dared breathe a word about the child Lord Stark carried and no one said anything about it.  He thought he would’ve picked it up in the rumor mill if the babe had been murdered.  Even despite being blood of the dragon, all but Lord Lannister would have found the death of a child to be anything but barbaric.  He took hope that the child would then grow up safe.  The North was so far away that he suspected he would never hear a whisper out of it, and although it pained him to let the boy go and live, he assured himself it was for the best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur continued to attempt to connect with Ser Jaime, but he was rebuffed at every turn.  He refused to train with him, he refused to take any meals with him, and he locked himself in his room.  Although Ser Jaime continued to meet any eye contact with proverbial daggers, Arthur thought that he had eased up.  His sister, the future queen, was arriving soon, which seemed to cheer Ser Jaime.  By all accounts, Tywin handed over King’s Landing in exchange for a marriage between King Robert and his daughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It appears Lord Tywin got the royal marriage he always wanted,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur thought bitterly.  Lady Cersei had spent her adolescent years in King’s Landing for a time, vying for the position of Prince Rhaegar’s wife.  Arthur had little direct contact with Cersei, though he was at Rhaegar’s side more than once when she was hanging on the prince and flirting with him.  His first impression was that of a conniving snake that was coiling around his friend, preparing to asphyxiate him.  Her words were sweet, but there was venom behind those eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Prince Rhaegar had not liked her, which was more than enough reason for Arthur.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, if the presence of his twin cheered Ser Jaime, then he wouldn’t begrudge the boy of whatever comfort he could find from his family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He only wanted to speak with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur finally decided that he could do nothing more but corner Ser Jaime.  The idea was about as good as actually wrangling a lion, but Ser Jaime had left him no other choice.  Ser Jaime spent the night guarding King Robert.  He was up before the crack of dawn, and when he heard the heavy footsteps passing his door, he slipped out of bed and followed.  Ser Jaime fumbled with the key to his room, but once he opened the door, Arthur rushed forward and shoved Jaime through, then followed in his stead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Jaime found his balance and ripped out his sword, leveling it at him before he realized who it was.  “What is the meaning of this?”  Ser Jaime barked.  He ripped off his helmet and glowered at Arthur, but the sword stayed leveled at him.  “Ser Arthur?!  Perhaps if I leave a scar you’ll finally take the hint.  We have </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to talk about!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but I think we do.  You killed King Aerys and I want answers.  Lord Stark and Lord Commander Selmy are all willing to judge you based on their own speculation, but I am not.  I want to know the truth.  You’re a fine lad.  I did not raise a monster into a knight and I don’t believe you to be one.  Perhaps King Aerys’ madness was like smoke; your exposure to it sickened you with it as well, but all you do is glare.  You don’t jump at shadows like he did, you don’t see enemies everywhere—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see an enemy in you,” Ser Jaime shot back.  “You!  All of you!  You just left me here.  Alone!  I had to guard all day, every day.  I barely even saw Princess Elia, Prince Aegon, or Princess Rhaenys!  I had to be at King Aerys’ side at all times because enemies were </span>
  <em>
    <span>everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  I was even there when he was conspiring with the pyromancers to store caches of wildfire under the city so that it could be destroyed at a moment’s notice!”  Jaime went stiff after his tirade and his eyes widened in shock and he snapped his mouth shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur stared at him. He had hoped that Jaime being exhausted from guarding would leave him unsteady and willing to spill, like a drunk who’d had one too many.  “King Aerys was going to destroy King’s Landing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out,” Jaime said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t move but stayed steadfastly in front of the door.  He was wearing his sleeping shirt and trousers and nothing more.  He had no weapon, not even boots.  “I can’t do that, Jaime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said OUT,” Jaime roared and brought his sword up again and walked towards him.  He stopped just as the point reached his chest, but Arthur did not flinch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Arthur said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A knock sounded at the door.  “What in Seven Hells is going on in there?”  It was Ser Barristan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur eyed the door handle and then back to Jaime.  There was murder in Jaime’s eyes and he was blowing hard from his rage.  Arthur swatted the sword down, turned and opened the door.  “Ser Barristan, good morning.  You should come in and hear this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan scowled suspiciously at him and then stepped through the door.  Despite the early hour, he was dressed fully in his Kingsguard armor.  He looked around to see Ser Jaime sheathing his sword, still furious and he frowned over Arthur’s state of dress.  “I don’t know what is going on here, but I expect a Kingsguard to control his temper and be in an acceptable state of dress, even when—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough out of you, Ser,” Arthur snapped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan stared in shock but fell silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You may have seniority to us, but you appear to be obsessed only with duty and presentation.  Has it not occurred to you what your fellow brethren have suffered in the service to kings?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The old knight gaped at him.  He finally cleared his throat and said, “I don’t know what has brought about this insubordination, but you will not speak to me in that tone, Ser Arthur.  Our place is not to question the king, it is merely to serve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then serve!  Close your ears and ignore all else, but don’t be surprised when the foundation of the Kingsguard starts to crumble beneath your feet.  Did you ever wonder at the cost of serving, Ser Barristan?  I hadn’t, until I dishonored myself by helping Prince Rhaegar kidnap an innocent girl and then kept her imprisoned in a tower for years, all because the vaunted king ordered it.  To hold </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn</span>
  </em>
  <span> is agony.  I feel pain in my arm as though weakened from my brush with death, but I am able to hold other swords.  However, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn</span>
  </em>
  <span> is displeased and without </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dawn, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I can no longer be the Sword of the Morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence followed his own tirade.  Both Ser Barristan and Ser Jaime were aghast.  The anger had drained from Ser Jaime’s face and he looked as helpless as a child.  Ser Barristan’s mouth opened and closed like a fish.  Finally, he said, “Ser Arthur … I … ”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see a monster in myself, Ser Barristan.  I saw a monster in the Smiling Knight.  But do you really think I would raise a man to knighthood if I saw a monster in him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan blinked at him.  “I-uh-I would hope not, Ser Arthur.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And yet you seemed determined to believe that Ser Jaime is a monster.  I raised him to knighthood!  He showed me his mettle when he faced the Smiling Knight as a boy of five-and-ten.  He may have been a bit young for the Kingsguard when he was bestowed that honor, but he was no less a knight.  So, you will stay here and you will listen!  Tell us, Ser Jaime.  Tell us more about how King Aerys was planting wildfire caches throughout the city.  Tell us … what was the reason that forced your hand to slay him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan looked like a startled deer at the words, but he turned to Jaime rapt with attention.  Jaime was equally startled and kept glancing back and forth between the two men.  He lowered his head and drew his mouth into a terse frown.  “I am supposed to keep my king’s secrets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I shouldn’t have spoken treason within earshot of Prince Rhaegar, but I did.  Tell us, Ser Jaime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But still Jaime hesitated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could not be a bigger monster in my eyes than I am to myself.  I held a girl captive and did not save her from a horrible fate when I could have.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaime looked resentfully towards Ser Barristan.  The old knight shifted.  “Ser Jaime … my earlier words were harsh.  I defamed you without knowing your reasons and did not trust in your instincts and honor as a knight.  If there are caches of wildfire beneath the city, we need to know about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Jaime said.  “The war was going ill.  King Aerys was becoming more afraid and paranoid by the day.  Lord Chelsted refused to be Hand any longer once he learned about the wildfire.  King Aerys burned him alive and made Rossart, the head of the Pyromancer’s guild, his Hand.  They continued making their plans.  Once Prince Rhaegar was slain on the Trident, King Robert’s victory was all but assured.  My father then marched his army to the city and told the king that he was there for his protection.  I told King Aerys that my father doesn’t fight a losing battle and he would never pick the losing side.  Grand Maester Pycelle convinced King Aerys that my father had returned as his friend, not his foe.  King Aerys ordered the gates opened and then my father sacked the city.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“King Aerys was furious about this betrayal.  He ordered me to bring him my father’s head.  Then he turned to Rossart and said, ‘Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds.’”  Jaime drew in a long breath.  “Half a million people, my father and the Lannister army would have been burned alive.  The king himself would have died!  Is one man’s life worth half a million?  So I killed Rossart.  And then I killed King Aerys.”  Jaime’s face was ashen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence was so complete that not even breath stirred the air between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You made a decision that most knights wouldn’t have the balls to make,” Arthur said.  “You did the right thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ser Barristan looked slumped where he stood.  He straightened and cleared his throat.  “Ser Jaime, I must apologize for my behavior towards you these last few months.  I should have trusted your judgment as a Kingsguard, no matter your youth.  You unquestionably did the best thing that you could.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaime shifted.  “You really think so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” both Arthur and Barristan replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I apologize for forcing this issue on you.  I had faith in you, Jaime, and I was convinced you wouldn’t break your oaths for no good reason.  Too many before me judged you without looking deeper.  I had to know…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaime wrinkled his nose.  “Why?  Why did it matter so much to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because no one else could understand the pressures that come with being a Kingsguard when you have a rotten king.  Every time I said I was just following orders, it always felt hollow to my ears.  I knew the things I was doing were dishonorable, but I had faith in my prince that it would turn out for the better.  That faith was misplaced.  But you … you have renewed my faith and hope.  Honor is not found in a set of oaths.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that’s enough.  I wish to retire now,” Jaime replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur and Barristan stepped into the hallway.  They heard the click of the lock as Jaime turned the key.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stood there in silence for a moment.  “What now?”  Barristan asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now?  Now, we fight for Kingsguard who aren’t fucking Ser Mandon Moore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barristan chuckled.  “He was not my pick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.  You’re the Lord Commander.  Make your case.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Barristan headed back up the stairs to his quarters with determination.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are we going to do something about the wildfire?”  Jaime whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were standing next to one another at court, watching the endless parade of nobility and peasantry bring their problems alike.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what can be done.  It’s dangerous even at the best of times.  We could risk destroying the whole city if we try to move it,” Arthur mumbled back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You could do it,” Jaime said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go to the king with it.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur turned slightly to look at him askance.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaime raised his eyebrows at him in a bored manner.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should I do that?  You’re the one who knows where they’re located.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would put you in King Robert’s good graces.  It could help you reclaim your honor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur gave the barest shake of his head.  “That’s your honor, not mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard Jaime sigh in frustration.  “Do you think it’s possible to reclaim your honor?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he replied.  “But I’m damn well not going to take it from some bloody oaths.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The End</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><b>Author’s Notes</b>: Yep, that’s the end.  This was supposed to be a one-shot (hah!), but I couldn’t help myself.  I already have one huge multi-chapter on my hands, I really didn’t need another lengthy, drawn-out fic.  If there is anyone who cares to take this further, then you have my blessing.  I only ask that you link me and credit me as inspiration.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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